Finding your way is the most important thing in the life of any person. I am deeply convinced that every person is uniquely talented, everyone has a divine gift. The tragedy of humanity is that we do not know how, and do not strive to discover and nurture this gift in a child. Genius is a rarity and even a miracle among us, but who is a genius? He's just a lucky guy. His fate was such that life circumstances themselves pushed the man to the right choice ways. A classic example is Mozart. He was born into a musician’s family and from early childhood found himself in an environment that ideally nurtured his natural talent. Now imagine, dear sir, that Wolfgang Amadeus would have been born into a peasant family. He would have made a nasty shepherd, entertaining the cows with magical playing of the pipe. If he had been born into the family of a martinet, he would have grown up as a mediocre officer who loved military marches. Oh, believe me, young man, every child, without exception, conceals a treasure within himself, only you need to be able to get to the bottom of this treasure!
You don’t need a lot of intelligence to get married, but try to make her smile every day and set you as an example.
Every person is superior to me in some way; and in this sense I have a lot to learn from him.
Every person gets what they want in life. But not everyone is happy after this.
We become blind to what we see every day. But every day is different, and every day is a miracle. The only question is to pay attention to this miracle.
Make life around you beautiful. And let every person feel that meeting you is a gift.
The main thing in a family is not to change each other, not to improve each other, but to make each other happier.
Every person on earth, no matter what he does, plays a major role in the history of the world. And usually he doesn’t even know about it.
One of the most common misconceptions is to consider people good, evil, stupid, smart. Man flows, and he has all the possibilities: he was stupid, he became smart, he was angry, he became kind and vice versa. This is the greatness of man. And you can’t judge a person based on this. You condemned, but he is already different.
Every person who appears in our life is a teacher! Someone teaches us to be stronger, someone teaches us to be wiser, someone teaches us to forgive, someone teaches us to be happy and enjoy every day. Some people don’t teach us at all – they just break us, but we also gain experience from this. Appreciate every person, even if he appeared for a moment. After all, if he appeared, then it’s no accident!
MOTHER IS LIKE GOD
Are we satisfied with our relationship with our mother? Are you satisfied with your self-esteem, which was formed in childhood? Didn’t your mother say: don’t paint your lips like that, it doesn’t suit you? Or: you’re too shy, boys don’t pay attention to you? Or: you don’t have enough plasticity to dance? One more question: is my mother happy with me, an adult woman, today? And why do I still care?
Lyudmila Petranovskaya: “Mom is a very important character in the life of any person. For a small child, mother is his universe, his deity. Just as the gods of the Greeks moved the clouds, sent floods or, conversely, a rainbow, a mother has power over her child to approximately the same extent. While he is small, this power is absolute for him; he cannot criticize it or distance himself from it. And in these relationships a lot is laid down: how he sees and will see himself, the world, relationships between people. If our mother gave us a lot of love, acceptance, and respect, then we received a lot of resources to understand our view of the world and ourselves.
WHAT IF NOT?
Even at thirty years old, we cannot always resist our mother’s assessments. These children still live inside us: a three-year-old, a five-year-old, a ten-year-old, for whom mother’s criticism ate into the very liver, into the inside - even at a time when they could not oppose anything to her. If mom said: “Everything is always wrong with you, thank God!” - so that’s how it was. Today we understand with our heads that, perhaps, my mother is overthinking that everything is always wrong with me. We even remind ourselves of our position, education, and number of children as arguments. But inside us, at the level of feelings, sits the same little child, for whom the mother is always right: the dishes are not washed properly, the bed is not made properly, the haircut was not a success again. And we experience an internal conflict between the realization that mom is wrong and the unconscious childish acceptance of mom’s words as the ultimate truth.
TO FORGIVE OR NOT TO FORGIVE
In fact, when there is an internal conflict, it means that you can work with it, try to do something. It's more dangerous when it's not there. After all, you can remain forever in a five-year-old state, believing that mom is always right, and make excuses, be offended, ask for forgiveness, or hope to somehow try and show yourself well so that mom will suddenly actually see how wonderful I am.
Today the idea of “forgive and let go” is popular. Forgive your parents for somehow treating you wrong as a child, and you will immediately feel better... This idea does not provide any liberation. What can and should be done is to be sad about that child (you as a child), feel sorry for him and sympathize with his mother, because everyone deserves sympathy. And compassion is a much healthier start than arrogant forgiveness.
Try not to forgive, but to understand: Mom was in a situation about which we know nothing, and, probably, she only did what she could. And we could draw erroneous conclusions: “Everything is always wrong with me, thank God,” “There is nothing to love me for,” or “I can only be loved when I am useful to other people.” Such decisions, which are made in childhood, can then subtly influence a person’s entire life, and the point is to understand: it was not true.
THEIR CHILDHOOD
Now is the time for warmer relationships between parents and children. And in their childhood, almost all of our mothers were sent to a nursery, and many to a five-day school. This was common practice, so how could they have learned warmth and close contact?
Fifty years ago, they started going to nursery school at two months, because they were running out of maternity leave, and if a woman did not work, it was considered parasitism. Yes, some were lucky, their grandmother was nearby, but mostly these were first-generation city dwellers, their parents remained far away in the villages. But there was no money for nannies, and there was no culture of hired workers... There was no way out - and at two or three months the child was sent to a nursery: twenty-five beds in a row, between them there was one nanny, who gave a bottle every four hours. And that’s it, that’s all the child’s contact with the world.
In the best case, if the mother worked non-shift at the factory and could take him home every evening, the child would at least get a mother in the evening, but one who was extremely exhausted from work. And she still had to cope with Soviet life - cook food, get food in lines, wash clothes in a basin.
This is maternal deprivation (deprivation), when the child did not have access to his mother at all, or when she did not think about smiling at him and tickling his belly, but about how tired she was. Children with such experience do not have the ability to enjoy their child, communicate with him, and be in touch. All these models are taken from their childhood. When in childhood they kiss you, hold you in their arms, talk to you, make you happy, do some stupid things with you, play games, you absorb it and then unconsciously reproduce it with your children. What if there is nothing to reproduce?
Many thirty-year-olds now have memories of their childhood as the fact that their mother complains all the time about how hard it is for her: a burden, responsibility, you don’t belong to yourself... Their mothers took this out of their childhood - there is no joy in motherhood, you must raise a worthy citizen who the school and the Komsomol organization would be pleased.
Today's mothers have to restore the lost programs of normal parental behavior, when you get joy from your children, and for you, parenting, with all its costs, is compensated by the enormous pleasure from the child.
RECOVER YOUR ROLE
There is one more aspect. Our mothers, who did not receive enough protection and care from their mothers in their childhood, were unable to fully satisfy their own children's needs. And in a sense, they failed to grow up. They got a profession, worked, could occupy leadership positions, start families... But the child inside them turned out to be hungry - for love, for attention. Therefore, when they had their own children and grew up a little and became more intelligent, a phenomenon called inverted parantification often arose. This is when parents and children essentially switch roles. When your child is six years old and he wants to take care of you, he loves you, it is very easy to get hooked on this - as a source of the very love that you were deprived of.
Our mothers grew up with the feeling that they were not loved enough (if they were, they wouldn’t send them to a nursery, they wouldn’t yell at them). And then they have at their disposal a little man who is ready to love them with all his heart, without any conditions, to belong absolutely completely to him.
This is such a “dream come true”, such a temptation that is difficult to resist. And many could not resist and entered into this inverted relationship with their children, when psychologically the child seemed to “adopt” the parents. At the social level, they continued to be in charge, they could prohibit, punish, they supported the child. And on a psychological level, children began to be responsible for the psychological well-being of their parents - “Don’t upset mommy!” The children were told about their troubles at work, about the lack of money; the children could complain about their asshole husband or their hysterical wife. Children began to be involved as home therapists and “vests” in the emotional life of their parents.
And this is very difficult to refuse: the parents, as disliked children, remain so, because the child, even if he hurt himself, cannot give them this.
And when a son or daughter grows up and begins to separate, starts their own family, their own life, the parents experience the feeling that an abandoned child experiences, whose mom and dad went on a long business trip. And naturally, this is resentment, claims, a desire to be in this life, to interfere in it, to be present in it. The behavior of a small child who demands attention, demands to be loved. And adult children, who lived most of their childhood in a parental role, feel guilty and responsible and often feel like bastards who did not love their parent “child” enough and abandoned him. At the same time, another part of them, the adult, tells them: you have your own family, your own plans. It turns out to be a complex conglomerate of guilt and irritation towards these parents... And the parents have a strong resentment.
WHEN MOTHER IS OFFENSED
First of all, remind yourself that the grievance is not with you, but with their own parents, and there is nothing you can do about it. Very often these grievances are also unfounded, unfair: the point is not that they did not love, but that they were in very difficult situation. And it seems to me that it is important here not to continue to interact with this childish part of your parents, but still communicate with the adult.
Every parent, even the most offended, still has something they can give you and something they can help you with. Rather than serving your mother’s resentment, it is much better, for example, to ask her to pamper you, to cook the food that you have loved since childhood, to spend time with you.
This is an appeal to her correct part of the personality, to the parent. And for any parent it’s nice that you can, for example, feed your child so tasty that they won’t be fed in any restaurant, you can cook for him what he loved as a child. And the person no longer feels like a little offended child, but an adult who can give something.
You can ask your mother about her childhood - because access to the emotional state that shaped her current one always helps. If she remembers difficult moments of childhood, we can sympathize, feel sorry for her (that child), then she herself can feel sorry for him.
Or perhaps she will remember that not everything in her childhood was so bad, and although there were difficult circumstances, there were also good times, good, joyful memories. Talking to parents about their childhood is useful - you get to know and understand them better, this is what they need.
CHANGE YOURSELF
Yes, there are difficult cases when the mother only wants to control, but not interact in any way. This means that you will have to increase the distance, understand that, sad as it may be, you will not have a good, close relationship.
You cannot make your mother happy, it is not your responsibility. It is important to realize that children cannot “adopt” their parents, no matter how hard they try.
This is how it works: parents give to their children, but they can’t get it back. You and I can give parents specific help in situations where they are objectively unable to cope. But we cannot help them grow up and overcome their psychological traumas. There is no point in even trying: you can tell them that there is such a thing as psychotherapy, but then they are on their own.
Strictly speaking, we have only two ways to grow (and people usually combine them). The first is to get everything we need from our parents. And the second is to be sad that we didn’t get it, to cry, to feel sorry for ourselves, to sympathize with ourselves. And move on with your life. Because we have a large margin of safety in this regard.
But there is also a bad way - this is to run around with a bill of exchange “they didn’t give me” all your life and, at every opportunity, poke it at your mother - real or virtual, in your head. And hope that someday she will finally understand, realize and pay off this bill with interest.
But the truth is that she can't do it. Even if she suddenly magically changes and becomes the most mature, wise and loving mother in the world. Only you have access to the past where you were a child, and only we ourselves can “nurse” our inner child.”
Many rituals that we use every day have come to us from time immemorial. IN modern world they have not lost their relevance and still help to avoid problems and attract good luck.
Why knock on wood? Many people have probably asked this question. People perform many actions every day unconsciously, unaware that many of them are ancient rituals aimed at protecting themselves and their loved ones from all kinds of misfortunes. We use most of these rituals every day. They originate in pre-Christian Rus', when people were looking for ways to energetically protect themselves from enemies and troubles.
Daily rituals
Knocking on wood. In pagan culture, a tree is a symbol of wisdom, protecting from evil spirits (aspen), giving wisdom (oak), relieving melancholy and illness (birch, willow). With the advent of Christianity, knocking on wood began to be identified with the wooden crucifix of Christ, which could protect against any misfortune, including the evil eye and damage. Tree protection was widely used by our ancestors. They believed that the spirits living in them were able to hear the one asking and save him from troubles. Thus, small children who were capricious at night were lightly tapped with their feet on a small log to calm them down.
Spit over your shoulder. Popular beliefs say that right shoulder- the place of the guardian angel, and the left - the demon. He carefully monitors every action so that in case of a mistake, he can begin to have a negative impact. That's why it's customary to spit through left shoulder, so that the evil one does not have the habit of eavesdropping and spying on thoughts and causing harm.
Blow off yourself. We often see how people, after showing something on themselves, rub their hands over their bodies and then blow them off. This gesture is due to the fact that all manifestations of negativity are from the evil one, and you certainly need to remove it from yourself. By showing yourself the illnesses of another person, you need to protect yourself and get rid of negative energy.
Sit down on the path. In Rus' they believed that this ritual helps to enlist the support of the spirits of the road and promises a calm journey without incident, and also appeases the brownie. The defender of the house does not like it when someone leaves the space entrusted to him for a long time, so they used to list out loud all the things they took with them. If one of the items is not found, it means that the brownie is sure that it will not be needed on the long journey. Also, at the last minute before leaving, you may be struck by the idea of taking something else, or even the necessary item will appear nearby. Thus, the brownie shows his affection towards you and helps you get ready. Before you leave the house, sit down and listen. Perhaps it is at this moment that a good spirit will give you the last parting words and protect you from troubles.
Look in the mirror if you forgot something. A person who is in a hurry to leave the house may remember the forgotten thing he needs. In this case, you should say "mind me". It is believed that returning from the path promises failure, so all negativity should be left to your reflection, locking it there. Our ancestors, without mirrors, looked into the water. If the water remained still, then the road was clear of incidents. If light ripples appeared on the water, they would hit it with their hand and say "mind me" and bowed to the red corner. You had to leave with a straight back, without looking back, and twist a cookie on your hand against the evil eye.
Do not pass over the threshold. Our ancestors strictly observed this ritual. They did not greet or convey anything if they were separated by a threshold front door. The thing is that in pre-Christian times, the ashes of deceased relatives were most often buried under the threshold. In this way, they strengthened their ancestral protection and protected themselves from outside negativity. The ancestors believed that beyond the threshold of the house began a hostile land, inhabited not only by good spirits, but also by evil spirits that could cause a lot of problems and troubles. In order not to get into trouble and not inadvertently invite negativity into the house, the guest must first enter, and only then say hello or convey something necessary.
Don't sleep at sunset. Many people remember how in childhood their grandparents often said that you can’t sleep at sunset. Moreover, this should not be done if the person is sick. Twilight time, when the sun no longer has power over the earth, was considered the hour of evil. The thin line between the worlds allowed the creation of evil to pass through, which could affect an unprotected person in a dream. In order to save someone who has accidentally fallen asleep from trouble, it is necessary to wake him up and allow him to wash himself with clean water. If a person sleeps too soundly, you need to wipe him with a cloth dipped in ordinary or holy water and say: “Water washes away troubles, protects from evil spirits.”
These and many other superstitions often save us from real troubles. Eyewitnesses tell many cases when sitting on the path literally snatched them from the clutches of death. At the very last minute, they were suddenly delayed unknowingly, and then it turned out that their vehicle was caught in terrible disaster. We wish you good luck in life and an easy journey. Be happy and don't forget to press the buttons and
15.03.2017 03:25
A broken mirror brings failures and troubles if action is not taken in time. To ward off misfortune, you need...
Of course, I would like to believe that we live for a reason, but for a reason. Does anyone know what the meaning of life is? Everything is relative, since humanity still does not have any specific goals that everyone and everyone can move towards.
What is the most important thing in life? Any person sooner or later begins to ask this question. A lot has been said about the meaning of life and at the same time nothing has been said at all. Each of us must determine for himself personally what is a priority for him, what is worth living or even dying for.
What is the most important thing in life? There are people (by the way, there are many of them) who believe that career should come first. Why is she? Yes, many people really don’t understand the point of wasting themselves trying to curry favor with their superiors. Yes, a good position means status, money, respect, but do not forget that careerists are not so often happy in
A person who devotes himself entirely to work will sooner or later realize that he is lonely, and those around him are not friends, but simply people looking for some kind of benefit. What happens after such an epiphany? A person can realize that a high position is not the main achievement in life. At the same time, he will most likely try to change and rethink everything. Another option is also possible: a person, realizing his loneliness, will become an even greater careerist and finally withdraw into himself.
What is the most important thing in life? Many say it's love and family. There's really no need to generalize these two concepts. Why? Because often strong families are not created out of love, and those relationships that were originally based on love collapse. Family is perhaps the most beautiful thing a person can have. How nice it is to constantly feel the support of someone, to understand that they are waiting for you at home. Love is what time will pass. It is very good if affection comes to replace it. The main thing is that there is no emptiness.
People who see the meaning of life in the family, as a rule, live happily regardless of their financial situation, who they work for, what position they have reached, and so on. Is this good? Without a doubt! Family can really be called the main thing in Is it easy to argue with this?
Is love the most important thing in life? Perhaps, just don’t confuse it with passion. Love-passion is vanity, and love-affection is something eternal.
What is the most important thing in life? Some will say that the most important thing in life is education. Yes, some people are truly ready to learn throughout their lives. Is this correct? Here you can also look from different angles. The point is that educated people have always been valued, but why devote your entire life exclusively to theory. There is an opinion that those who are afraid to live life to the fullest become a scientist.
Some people believe that the most important thing in life is some kind of achievement. Such people set a goal and go towards it, no matter what. What is this goal? It doesn't matter. The main thing is that it exists. This could be winning some competition, skydiving, or opening your own business. What is important here is not the result, but the process. A person sometimes feels alive only when he is busy with something. Constant self-realization is the main thing in the life of some individuals. It also sounds quite convincing.
How can you determine what is most important in life for you? Analyze yourself, your character, think about your aspirations, goals, and so on. Surely you will find something that can be developed to global proportions. Do not be afraid that the path you have chosen will one day seem false or incorrect. Remember that it is never too late to change everything. Meaning in life can only be found by those who want to find it and are constantly looking for it. Don't dwell on little things and don't pay too much attention to other people's points of view - look for your own path.
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