I was born in the Soviet Union. My parents believed in the ideas of communism, in a better tomorrow and in the fact that they were building this better tomorrow with their own hands, putting all their effort into work with complete dedication. Raised in a strict communist ideology, I decided to become a teacher in order to raise and prepare new generations - the future of the country - for adulthood. In those days it was a noble, worthy and respected profession.
I worked for the good of the state, and the state took care of me. When my husband and I were assigned to work at a school in the village of Trekhselsky, Uspensky district Krasnodar region, it never even occurred to us to challenge this direction - since our Motherland, our country needed young specialists in this place, it means we had to submit.
The village greeted us warmly: we were given a huge 5-room cottage, newly built by the collective farm, to live in. The salary was enough for everything, work at the school aroused enthusiasm, although due to the specific national composition of the local population (ethnic Greeks lived there), the children had difficulty learning Russian grammar, but I did not lose heart and applied all my strength and knowledge to correct the situation.
Having worked for the required three years in the village, we returned to our native Armavir. I started working at school No. 19, where I met many Teachers with a capital T, where I made lifelong friends. We were more than a team, we were one family. We worked from 8 to 8, holding teacher councils and party meetings after the official end of the working day, teaching children additionally and without any additional payments, taking them to competitions and olympiads for the honor of the school.
One day I came to school on March 8 to prepare the assembly hall for the festival of literature, on March 9. The watchman was gone somewhere, and my colleague and I could not get inside, then the colleague helped me climb through one unlocked window into the school. My colleague and I washed the entire school, prepared the exhibition, and the next day we had success at the literary festival dedicated to the Decembrists. We now remember this with the words: “Do you remember?..” This is how I understood my duty and my responsibility, fortunately, my mother helped me raise my child. The authorities appreciated my enthusiasm, and very soon I became a deputy director and was awarded the “Excellence in Education” badge and Certificates, despite my very young age.
The 90s came and the system began to collapse, but we did not notice this immediately. They stopped giving us salaries, and we continued, by inertia, to go to work every day, as we were used to. Our gymnasium was destroyed by the new leadership (the new director was hired to replace the deceased and had experience guarding bridges on the BAM), without understanding its human tasks. In the fight against it, the creative forces of the school suffered a fiasco. Against the backdrop of these troubles, I divorced my old husband and found a new one. With my new husband (PhD in Chemistry), we tried to start several joint business projects, including opening a private school, but at that time we did not have enough entrepreneurial experience. As a result, I went to work as a head teacher at school again, not in the 19th grade, but in the 10th grade, and my husband went to work at a factory to work as an engineer.
However, I no longer wanted to work as before. Faith in justice was destroyed. The new projects offered by the system were not new or interesting to me. I went through all this, but again I didn’t want to surprise someone who needed it for show and their career. I no longer wanted to work for the benefit of others with the same enthusiasm; I still had to learn how to work for my own benefit.
After that, I left tutoring because this activity requires a lot of mental strength and energy, and I was no longer so young, and it was hard.
By this point I was pretty experienced user PC, knew office programs well, knew how to work with various Internet services and by email- Working as a head teacher at school required these skills from me.
One day (9 years ago) my daughter told me about the Weblancer freelance exchange and that they often needed copywriters, proofreaders, and review authors. At first it all seemed somewhat unreal to me. But together we registered an account for me on this exchange, and I started taking small orders there from time to time on weekends. Gradually, I learned to find clients on other exchanges, and then they themselves began to find me.
I was interested in this new direction of activity, and most of all I was interested in text ranking algorithms search engines. I loved watching this magic when the texts I wrote for a certain search key, after indexing by Yandex, brought the site of a lot of clients to the top for this key. I started looking for information about SEO and SMM, I wanted to learn as much as possible about these new industries. I found a new professional interest that was already lost in pedagogy. Sometimes I studied new job at school, when others were drinking tea and eating buns, they were passing the time. Indeed, for many structures, it is not the result that is important, but presence and serving time. I hated it. I made my time away more interesting and useful.
In our country, teachers, like the military, retire after working for 25 years at school and becoming a pensioner at the age of 45. I left school, deciding that I had completed one career with dignity and now I want to try myself in a new one.
Now I comprehensively promote several clients on the Internet: I manage their websites and groups in social networks, and my team and I not only write and post content for these sites and groups, but are also fully responsible for the reputation and communication of our clients on social networks. This is a very interesting and responsible job, and I again feel in my place, in the flow. Not to mention the fact that my work schedule allows me to spend a lot of time with my granddaughter and my old mother, and I don’t have to live in poverty.
More information about me and my work can be found on my Facebook page.
“At forty-five - the woman is a berry again!” - says popular wisdom. Indeed, you can often see women who have gained a second youth after forty-five. But even more often you can see women who age sharply, lose their sense of themselves as women and - worst of all - their health collapses; these are the women who sometimes become regulars in hospitals.
It’s the same with men: “gray hair in a beard means a devil in a rib,” which does not always mean negative manifestations. Sometimes this demon concerns the revival of relationships in one’s own family, radical changes in career, the search for new hobbies, the emergence of travel and the development of attention to one’s own health. And others become nervous, irritable, rush around in painful searches, become disappointed in these attempts, lose the respect of loved ones, faith in themselves, and sometimes fall into destructive addictions.
What's happening? What distinguishes one from the other? And what real challenges does life pose for a person after 45?
Let's try to go through the most acute, “painful points” of this period.
Relationships and sex
Life of a woman after 45 in terms of relationships and sex
For a long time, doctors and psychologists have voiced the idea that the age of forty is a woman’s real sexual prime. However, it often happens that a woman, first of all, is afraid to admit it to herself - she is, after all, a “matron”, often the mother of children and, in general, a “respected woman in society.” Various “romantic nonsense” are clearly not included in this image.
In addition, the ideals of eternal youth, actively cultivated in Russian society, encourage women to believe that at the age of forty they acquire a “non-marketable appearance”, and bright manifestations of sexuality simply do not correspond to their appearance. A woman’s life after 45 often indirectly implied becoming a “grandmother”, an “illiquid” woman in terms of attractiveness.
We can talk for a long time about such manifestations of misogyny (i.e., contemptuous attitude towards women), the origins of this phenomenon in society, but this is rather a topic for another article. Now I’ll just draw attention to the fact that women themselves sometimes take this for granted - the need to “conform” and “have a marketable appearance.” And in case of “inconsistency”, prohibit yourself from expressing your genuine and age-appropriate bodily and psychological needs.
However, regular sex during this period is the key to normal health, adequate experience of the oncoming menopause and the opportunity to prolong one’s youth. And it’s not enough to admit it - we also need to implement it.
Meanwhile, previous marriages sometimes exhaust themselves, or the woman was left alone, but busy raising a child, she could not seriously devote herself to the relationship. At the age of forty, children, as a rule, are no longer babies and are independent to one degree or another. And it's time to allow yourself “nonsense.”
We can say more broadly: a woman’s life after 45 is a time when you can afford a lot, regardless of the opinions of others, because we are talking about how the entire second half of life will turn out. And I may live another thirty, forty years. And by suppressing sexual impulses in herself, a woman risks precisely her health and youth, which she so does not want to lose.
Alina, 51 years old. At forty-seven, the relationship with her husband frankly deteriorated, the spouses moved away, and a cooling set in. However, at work Alina became seriously interested in a young man, twelve years younger. At first Alina avoided him, and then decided that she had nothing to lose. Having entered into this relationship, the woman blossomed and even seriously climbed the career ladder. After some time, they opened their own business with a friend. Interestingly, Alina is still married. He has been in a relationship with a friend for three years. It’s difficult to talk about prospects, but the main thing is that she is full of strength, constantly improves in her work and takes care of herself. She says that even if they separate, she does not rule out the possibility of another relationship, and is not even sure whether she wants to continue living with her husband.
Immoral? Maybe someone will appreciate it that way. But at the age of forty, for women, and for men to the same extent, it is about preserving themselves. And if the spouse distances himself from the situation and does not want to maintain a serious relationship, should he deny himself the possibility of being alive? And can one person be responsible for what two people create?
There is another, no less important, purely psychological aspect of relationships. If at the age of twenty, thirty years marriage was often supported by social aspects - children, limited financial situation, status was also important, then often after forty all these “cementing elements” cease to have such a serious significance.
Both partners in a marriage have every chance by this age to become professionals, learn to earn money, and be less dependent on public opinion. Children have already become adults, or at least are independent enough to not need the constant presence of their parents.
In general, it is quite natural that at this age, it is the deep possibilities of relationships that begin to be valued to a greater extent: common interests and the ability to spend time together in a fun way, the depth of contact, the degree of trust and openness, the quality of communication. But social factors fade into the background.
And then either the couple develops towards greater deepening of contact and finding out what partners can give to each other precisely as people, as a man and a woman, or the couple, having fulfilled the basic social functions, does not find any underlying reasons to live together further. Life after 45- this is the time to realize and realize your real needs. And it is quite logical that reconsiderations of relationships occur quite often among people at this age. This is often facilitated by midlife crisis, which encourages us to question past guidelines altogether.
Revision is not always a bad thing. At this age, a person has a chance to both realize his truly deep needs in relationships and build these truly mature relationships. And with whom, with an existing partner or with a new one - it all depends not only on one thing. Those partners who both see this goal tend to stay in the relationship.
Man over 45 in a relationship
In men at this age, sexual function naturally declines. And sometimes that same demon plays a cruel joke on a man: realizing that his sexual life is nearing decline, a man sometimes tries to urgently “snatch” from life the last crumbs of female affection and recognition from the fair sex.
This is done using different methods, and it is not always possible to implement this in your own family. It often happens that a certain pattern of perception prevents you from seeing your own wife along with her mature changes. A man gets used to seeing her through the prism of an already established “picture” and ends up living with his own fantasy about her, and not with a real person who is changing. Therefore, a man cannot adequately take advantage of a woman’s activity and reconsider the relationship, finding in it a new source of strong emotions. Although it happens differently.
Maxim, 49 years old. Contacted me regarding career searches. Meanwhile, he told me how things were going in the family. . When he felt that he was starting to “give up,” he decided not to give up. He began to go to the pool - not alone, with his wife, and began to devote time to general leisure more often, because his son had already grown up. “With this woman I spent my best years, and I want to revive our relationship, breathe a second youth into it, because we still have a long time to live together!” - he says.
We can say that life after 45 is a time of quality. And it is the man who often needs to understand this idea. A completely reliable way to maintain youth and full sexual function is meaningful, very comfortable and high-quality contact with a woman. With numbers and show off one can achieve impressions and appearances. But not depth.
Even if the previous marriage has already outlived its usefulness, in the new one, regardless of the age of the chosen one, growing up will continue, and growing up is a movement towards depth and awareness of contact, feelings, intimacy. Then a man has a chance to remain a man for a long time.
The most common idea that age successfully discredits: youth was the standard to be equal to. But in fact, youth is a time of gaining experience and mistakes. And it is for this that the resource of endurance is given. And age brings its own values, which you can notice (and use them, develop them) or not notice, and spend your whole life unsuccessfully trying to pull yourself up to the standards of youth, inevitably becoming disappointed.
Life after 45: work
Woman after 45: professional and social life
Of course, the age limit puts pressure on women much more than on men. However, women still have their trump cards - their life experience, the ability to pay attention to people’s relationships in the professional process and build them.
Inessa, 52 years old. At forty-seven, she felt that the child no longer needed her; in the service she clearly felt the pressure of younger people. I realized that I had to try to change something. And I went to study to become a lawyer. Many told her that she could not compete with the young people. “And let it be!” - she waved it off, - “I’m studying for myself, I like it!” At first, friends turned for advice. Inesse conducted three successful divorce proceedings. It was life experience and the ability to competently talk with people and grasp their weak and strong points that allowed her to resolve situations largely peacefully, somewhere resorting to persuasion, somewhere - to reasoned, logical and firm conviction. Over time, she became one of the leading divorce lawyers in her city. Now she has a line of clients.
At this age, experience is a trump card that you need to be able to sell correctly. But many women do not believe in their own strengths and constantly compare themselves with younger women - it seems that the latter are more in demand everywhere. However, this is only if you stand in the pose of a supplicant.
But if you set yourself up to the fact that you will have to look for the volume of work yourself, you can achieve more. Young people are waiting to be offered something, because they have nothing else to offer themselves, except, in fact, youth and potential opportunities. And they are not yet experienced enough to develop their own business strategies.
An adult, experienced person who has seen a lot in his work does not necessarily have to wait for offers. At the same time, anything can become a business - even if you know how to get along well with children, you can turn tutoring into a business. The main thing is to know exactly what you want and can do, and not wait for someone to be “interested in you” and offer something.
A woman’s life after 45 is, in a sense, the time to offer herself to the world without fear or false modesty, which is confirmed by many successful examples, despite the usual social patterns: in Russian society there is already a layer of women who are actively pursuing careers and business at this particular time in their lives.
It is sometimes difficult for a person to change from the system “I get a job and they guarantee me something” to the system “I find my own scope of work and only I am my own guarantee.” For some reason (perhaps due to the rather strong dependence on public opinion and the assessment of others that is widespread specifically in Russian society), it is assumed that offering oneself is shameful and humiliating. But if you are “called”, this necessarily means you are in demand and needed.
Interestingly, people who started their own business at a young age rarely experience concerns about age in connection with work. They already understand that age cannot stop their development in this regard, because there is no age limit for organizing their own business.
But even if your specialty is such that it is extremely difficult to establish your own business with it, this does not mean that all doors are closed to you. There are many ways to justify your usefulness to companies and confirm your competence. To do this, you need to have confidence in your own quality, which sometimes disappears due to the attitudes I mentioned: a person begins to feel insecure due to the belief that he is already “second-class” and that “offering yourself is a shame.” However, confidence is something that can be re-developed and realized.
Men after 45: professional and social life
It seems to be easier for them - life after 45 for them does not always involve falling out of the picture, and with a successful combination of circumstances they can work for at least seventy years, and sometimes even more. But in reality, few people succeed.
Svyatoslav, 46 years old. He worked as a lawyer in a large company and had a very solid income. And it was at this age that I began to feel terribly uncomfortable in company. He was irritated by the team, his relationship with his superiors was not going well. He always felt like he was being pushed aside and not being taken seriously. That they interfere with him everywhere, meddle in his affairs, reproach him with his age.
It's not hard to guess that he ended up losing his job. And he could qualify for a much lower salary in the labor market. What played a key role here? Panic. A man gets entangled like a fly in the web of his own grievances, he is afraid of young people, his superiors, he tries to prove his experience and, as a result of this fuss, he loses the last remnants of respect from his colleagues and superiors.
Meanwhile, the less a man makes himself dependent on the environment (and even more so, the less he fantasizes about the thoughts and feelings of others), the more worthy of an employee he will actually look. We communicate on a non-verbal level, it’s worth remembering. And if a person broadcasts fears, tension, and uncertainty outwardly, then sooner or later he will begin to be perceived as an unreliable employee, and then his age “at the same time” will suddenly become noticeable, as a plausible excuse for dismissal….
In fact, age and the restrictions associated with it are only in your head. This is especially true for social life. What have you really lost as you get older? Have your experience or skills decreased? Hardly, rather the opposite. If you have developed in your profession, then you are like wine: the older you are, the more expensive it is. What makes you think you've lost something?
Yes, there are certain processes in the body that sooner or later occur (menopause, for example, or changes in the elasticity of the skin, hair structure, accumulated chronic diseases appear over time), but all this, firstly, happens gradually, and you can always notice, and secondly, it happens at an individual pace. And now is the time to talk about health.
Health
Women's health after 45
Yes, the impending menopause is a serious thing, and you need to be prepared for it. But when faced with the facts of signals from one’s own body, a person always has a choice: how to deal with them, how to perceive them, and what life strategy to ultimately choose.
Zulya, 55 years old. By the age of forty-five, I realized that hypertension was progressing, that I had become less mobile, and was gaining weight. By the time she decided to start fitness training, she was size fifty-six. I was terribly embarrassed, I even cried after training - it was hard to come to a gym full of young, trained girls. But she didn't give up. I visited an endocrinologist and selected replacement therapy. By forty-eight, when menopause began to take hold, Zulya was already size forty-eight, hypertension had subsided, replacement therapy was selected and adjusted by the doctor. And Zulya got a taste for movement and even began to engage in extreme sports with her son. And at fifty-five, she doesn’t take her friends’ complaints seriously - “Age? I practically don’t feel it!”
A woman’s health after 45 affects everything - her mood, relationships, interest in life. Not because she “passed”, but because, firstly, the value of comfort increases, and secondly, sensitivity, attention to oneself grows over the years with interest in oneself. And this is good, because this is how the ability to feel your body better and do many things proactively develops, and not “when it’s too late.” During this period, you can safely put your well-being first. Health doesn’t go away – we lose it ourselves.
In matters of working with psychosomatics and especially in the topic of aging, where the health of women after 45 is considered, because it is women who are more concerned about this topic, we often used this technique: it is necessary to find the point at which a person felt at his peak. As a rule, most people say their age is somewhere around thirty. And this is what we do: we remember those feelings, actions and ideas that were characteristic of man at that time. Then we select a set of measures, both psychological and physical, designed to return the sense of self to that specified point. And the rest is just work. Which in most cases brings good results.
A woman’s health after 45 is what she can make of it herself. Genetics, external influences, “circumstances” and “fate” all, of course, have some influence. But not decisive. And this is the very age when a person either takes responsibility for his health or it begins to be seriously determined by external and supposedly independent factors, which he can only come to terms with and endure.
Think about it: what and who really prevents you from playing sports? Who is stopping you from leading a more active lifestyle? Who is stopping you from realizing your long-standing desires? Who's stopping you from doing what you did, say, when you were thirty? Who is stopping you from reconsidering your diet and, if necessary, thinking about quality medical care? Really - no one. But all sorts of stereotypes and fear of condemnation from the outside interfere perfectly: “you can’t jump into the last carriage,” “oh, why is she looking so young? At her age, it’s high time...” etc.
But only we ourselves make this choice: what is more important to us? — avoid possible misunderstandings or make serious investments in your own body? And if you don’t do this, think about what beliefs are behind it? Your “age” and some “impossibilities” are most often also in your head.
Men's health after 45
The biggest problem for men is their inability to recognize the fact that the male menopause (andropause) exists along with the female one. But most men over forty (at least in Russia) brush off this problem.
Meanwhile, there are many aspects to this. For example, there is a connection between the level of testosterone and the state of the vascular system, modern medicine offers hormonal support for a smoother passage of andropause and adaptation to a slightly different mode of operation of the body, and especially if the lifestyle has not yet been restructured - perhaps some men should think about replacement therapy , as well as women.
But, of course, a doctor is not a panacea for aging. Testosterone that does not pass through the necessary stages of metabolism can pose a threat even with the most well-chosen replacement therapy. And therefore, life after 45 is the time to rethink your principles of life: change your activity mode, amount of movement, review your diet and deal with bad habits, if any.
Many people at this age face a problem: changing their lifestyle means leaving their comfort zone. On the one hand, there is a desire and need not to slip into rapid old age and “living out life.” On the other hand, to do this you need to get out of the usual and, perhaps, start doing something that you haven’t done before or haven’t done enough.
And here it is necessary to resolve this internal conflict, because a lot of energy is spent on the conflict itself: on the one hand, you would like to improve your well-being and not be afraid of old age, on the other hand, you have limitations inside that do not allow you to start acting. You scold yourself for being “lazy” and end up spending even more energy, which is less and less for change.
The good news is that for a psychologist, working with such resistance is common, such issues are often resolved in psychotherapy, and it doesn’t take much time to figure out what motives are really important to you, learn to rely on them and realize why you something is slowing you down and what you can do about it. So if resistance to change is for you - serious problem, then it’s time to think about a series of consultations with a psychologist; this issue can be completely resolved.
In conclusion
Life after 45 is wonderful because your body and organism (especially with the right attitude) can still do a lot. And at the same time, you at least have every chance of being an adult and mature, even in some ways a wise person. The ancient Greeks believed that a person's heyday was at forty-five years of age. This is despite the fact that then the average life expectancy was much less.
A mature person, as a rule, has already gone through a series of searches, learned to determine what is really important to him and what is unacceptable, got to know himself, realized his personal characteristics, understood what he is capable of changing, and what remains constant within him, I have already discovered my talents in some ways, or at least learned about their existence and studied them.
There is no point in comparing yourself to younger people; you can say that you have much more. You have your own vector, your own niche, your own advantages. You are smart, experienced, you have accomplished many social programs, the children have already grown up or at least do not need your constant presence, or perhaps you have decided not to have children - anyway, by the age of about 45, these decisions are made finally.
Most likely, you have succeeded in your work one way or another, perhaps you are even bored with it, and again it’s time to change something. And now you are even more free. And you are free to do what you want, knowing well what exactly. This is appreciated by many - both in relationships and in work.
And the only obstacle to all this is social patterns.
What should life be like after 45, how should a person feel at this age, how to look, what lifestyle to lead, what to want….
But think about it: if these attitudes were productive, would we have such a high rate of male mortality at a relatively early age (50-60 years)? And would we have such a huge number of “grandmothers” in society, that is, those women who, at about 50, refused to be women? And would hospitals be so crowded with elderly people?
...Living in other countries and doing diving (the sport itself is not an easy one, especially when it comes to the weight of the equipment and the need for concentration), I have more than once seen people 70-80 years old who continued to engage in the same sport and generally lead the same lifestyle , as at 40. And how many elderly travelers can be seen around the world among representatives of other countries?
In some countries, there is a more productive, in my opinion, pattern - “at forty, life just begins.” But for some reason this motto, uttered, interestingly, by the heroine of an Oscar-winning Soviet film, eventually took root in completely different countries. However, anyone can adopt it if they seriously want to.
It is impossible not to agree with the statement that a woman is always young, at any age. A woman does not age, and this is a fact - how many songs and various films, poems, sayings exist about the eternal and unfading youth of women. But this requires a little work! First, read this article and find out what you absolutely cannot do.
What should a mature, self-sufficient and self-confident woman, who is a little over 45, not do?
1. Save on yourself
We understand that you have a husband, children, a dog and a house, and most of your salary goes to your family. You have to save, and first of all on yourself. Of course, your family and friends are your everything, and you don’t feel sorry for any money for them.
But! Dear ladies, you cannot live only for the sake of others, sometimes you need to please yourself. Every month, give yourself one small gift: cool shoes, a blouse, a skirt, or a trip to a beauty salon. We are sure that your family also wants to see their mother, wife, sister beautiful, stylish and happy.
2. Have short haircuts
The main problem of Russian women! Who said that short haircut looking younger? Okay, maybe it makes some people look younger, but on the contrary, it harms others. Now is the time to experiment with hairstyles: try a bob, then grow your hair longer, dye it red or get American highlights. Hair is the main decoration of a woman at absolutely any age, why cut it right away?
In addition, do not forget about hair treatments: use thermal protection and leave-in treatments, make nourishing masks and regularly go to the hairdresser. With proper care, your hair will be your calling card for at least another 20 years.
3. Choose “old lady” things
Some women suddenly decide: “That’s it, youth is over, stop wearing tight jeans and beautiful tops, it’s time to buy a shapeless gray coat (no, not a fashionable oversize coat), a dark floor-length skirt and a synthetic blouse with some unrealistically strange floral print. Now fashion is not for us, but only for young girls.”
We sincerely hope that you do not have such thoughts, but if you suddenly feel the urge to buy an absolutely absurd and clearly “pensioner” thing, immediately tell yourself: “Stop!” Remember how they say about a woman who has turned 45?
4. Choose things that are too youthful
The opposite situation also happens: start dressing as if you have recently turned twenty-something. T-shirts with silly slogans, miniskirts, short sundresses, midriff-baring tops, leggings - these things will never make you look younger. On the contrary, they will highlight the discrepancy between your age and style.
Teenage clothing is a thing of the past: this needs to be realized and accepted. Believe me, you will look a hundred times better if you switch to more discreet (and this does not mean “boring”) and elegant outfits. You can follow all (or almost all) fashion trends and still remain a luxurious mature woman.
5. Don't follow trends
By the way, about trends. Another common mistake women make after 45 is not following fashion at all. It’s clear that you have practically no time to read fashion portals and magazines (although you’re reading this post, right?), but despite this, try to at least sometimes flip through glossies or visit sites about fashion and style.
In addition, most trends have no “age restrictions”. For example, is this season's fashionable denim skirt suitable for any woman? Yes, only in your case it is better to choose a length to the knee or slightly lower. What about a long vest? Of course, it can and should be worn both at 15 and at 80. Shoes with fringes? Why not. Of course, you don't have to experiment with crop tops and thick-soled slip-ons, but let's say it again: fashion is for everyone.
6. Hide shortcomings, but do not emphasize advantages
Forget about shapeless and baggy clothes. If you think: “I’ll put on a robe and no one will notice my belly or large thighs,” then you are very mistaken. Shapeless clothes make you look like a bun or a large rectangle. You should be able to not only hide figure flaws, but also emphasize your strengths.
Hide your hips under full midi skirts, highlight your waist with a thick or thin belt, wear fitted jackets and blouses with V-necks. Create beautiful silhouettes and show off sexy curves. When you stop wearing bags, people around you will definitely notice how attractive and charming you are.
7. Don't wear heels
If 5 years ago you were running in 10-centimeter stilettos from home to work, from work to kindergarten, from kindergarten to the supermarket, from the supermarket to home, and now they have decided that heels are inconvenient, impractical and in general sneakers are a hundred times better, then things are bad.
We agree, wearing heels every day is not worth it: fortunately, there are cool loafers, brogues, ballet flats, flat boots, but you should still have several cool pairs of heels in your wardrobe. And it is advisable to wear them not only on major holidays. Choose shoes with stable heels made of genuine leather and wear them at least once a week (or better yet, more often).
8. Buy cheap underwear
It seems to us that any mature woman can afford 3-5 sets of good underwear. Yes, let there be not 10, not 20, but much fewer, but they will be ideal. The right underwear models and tightens your figure. And if you don’t have free funds for a Victoria’s Secret bra, look into the stores of more affordable, but no less high-quality brands (Bustier, Intimissimi).
9. Not studying age-related makeup techniques
Unfortunately, after 40 years, our skin changes: wrinkles appear, age spots appear, it becomes too dry or too oily. Great if you regularly visit a cosmetologist and fight the signs of aging modern methods, for example, take mesotherapy or photorejuvenation courses. But procedures cannot instantly turn you into a 20-year-old beauty, which means you need to mask age-related changes with the help of decorative cosmetics.
Consult a professional makeup artist: he will tell you what cosmetics to use at your age, how to apply them, what to add to your makeup bag, and what to remove forever. Learn to do the right makeup and you will look 10 years younger.
10. Launch your body
Let's imagine a typical case: a woman gave birth to three children, stopped taking care of her body and slim figure not a trace remained. Now sports for her are only on TV. Guard! If you recognize yourself in this description, then it's time to think about it.
We are not encouraging you to go on a strict diet, drink only water and sign up for CrossFit classes. But neglecting your body and completely forgetting about sports is a crime against yourself. Fitness is movement, health, good mood. Find what you like: swimming pool, water aerobics, Nordic walking, yoga, zumba - whatever! Just two workouts a week - and your lazy girlfriends will envy your toned figure, and your body will have such energy that you can move mountains.
11. Forget about health
In continuation of the previous point. To be beautiful and healthy, a woman needs not only to exercise, but also to visit a doctor on time. Work, children, saving on yourself - you put off going to the hospital until the last minute, and hidden diseases that you don't treat will age you faster than poor nutrition and lack of physical activity.
Get tested, visit a therapist, dentist, gynecologist at least once a year and remember once and for all: beautiful woman- this is a healthy woman.
Hello, dear readers! Probably everyone has heard the proverb that at 45 a woman again becomes an attractive berry. Of course, everything is individual, for some this is a rather difficult period. However, for the most part, women really begin to have a second youth. What is this connected with?
Today the topic of our conversation will be a woman after 45 years, changes in character, body and her health. Naturally, special attention I will focus on psychological aspects, because this Internet project is dedicated to this science.
Let's get started quickly?
Why do we change
Changes in the body itself are obvious - menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes, sweating or.
More wrinkles appear as muscles lose elasticity, and poor nutrition leads to hair loss. The body tries to convince us that we are getting old. It is very difficult to stay with this, which will help correct the situation.
At 45, we return to global things again, and again go in search of answers, all the same. However, this time we are no longer guided by the opinions of others. enough to draw your own conclusions.
Negative findings
If by this time a woman has acted, as it seems to her, “right”, has found the success she was waiting for, and is enough, then she does not worry about the years spent aimlessly, but enjoys the current state of affairs. In this case, she follows a rational path.
If the situation is the opposite, on a woman, there are no better side. It starts. She is trying to make up for lost time - getting a tattoo, completely changing her wardrobe to a more youthful one, which puts her in an unfavorable light. She does not emphasize her status, but rather the opposite. Strives to be more youthful, but the body resists this. Things in this case will not look attractive.
In this case, it is best to consult a psychologist to cope with a difficult situation and direct your thoughts and actions in a more positive direction. beautiful no matter what she's wearing. I think you know this. If you don’t yet have the time or desire to communicate with a psychologist, you can start with a book James Hollis, Midway Pass.
Positive outcome
If a woman is happy with herself, she is completely satisfied with the conclusions, she enters a new period with confidence, then the changes will bring more pleasure and will be less painful. The most important thing now is not to chase what is lost, not to look for answers on how to look younger, but to create a new image of a stylish 45-year-old woman.
The advantages of this age are obvious: you have more free time, money, you will finally turn to own desires and are able to turn them into reality. All resources have become available. People around you may say: “Gray in your beard,” because you began to behave more actively than before: you went traveling, began to study English, or even love. There is nothing wrong with this if you are guided by current desires, and do not try to chase the youth that is slipping through your fingers.
It is very important to realize your own advantages and have a positive attitude towards life in general. I can advise book by Alexander and Yulia Sviyash “Positive psychology for everyday life» , in which you will find mass useful tips about how to learn to enjoy everything that happens to you.
That's all for me. I say goodbye to you. Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter so you don't miss something important and interesting.